Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
This toilet bowl is my home.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
