hotel room ftw
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize