this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
