i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize