I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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