he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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