Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
