Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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