ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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