Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
