dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
