Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
