you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
