We're facebook friends in real life
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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