Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
