At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm at about main and main street
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
