he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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