Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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