It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
