dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
