Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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