A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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