i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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