so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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