Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
