I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
