I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
