He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
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You're like the curious george of whores
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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