I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
