I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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