This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize