She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
