My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
