I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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