How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
