Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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