fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize