I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize