i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
