My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
