I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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