you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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