you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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