Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
