she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
