We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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