Betty ford says i'm here all night
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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