Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
