How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
