you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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