I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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