We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
