The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize