porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
