i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
