maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
