Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
