He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
