i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
