insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
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