You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
